Only stalling

I haven't been actively looking for my camera cord... but I have no idea where it is. Which is a real shame, because I need to get these pictures off my camera. Free up space to take more cute pictures! And, you know, share the ones already on there.

So, even though there aren't adorable pictures, I can assure you the baby is adorable. She's had quite the month - we moved at the beginning of August, went to my in-laws a week after moving, and then a few weeks after that, she had her surgery. I'm happy to say she is quite well recovered from surgery; in fact, she started crawling and walking (very slowly) the day we took her home - got sore the next day - and within a day or two after that, got to being active again. Moving slow, but moving. We were actually a bit disappointed actually. Baby girl really isn't much of a cuddler, and we were enjoying our cuddle time for a few days. Ah, well, it's good that she recovered so fast. She had some plastic tubes to help ease the passage of urine and they removed one last week, and with any luck, they'll remove the other one tomorrow, maybe Tuesday. It's kind of weird, actually (TMI warning) because they just cut the stitches that held it in place on the side of her incision and just pulled it out - it was in about 6 cm maybe?

So anyway. We officially have a walker, and she's getting quite good. However, she still likes to hold my hand(s) when I'm around, which is cute, except that if she doesn't get to hold my hands when she wants to, she usually sits down and cries about it. I remember hearing you can't spoil an infant, but unfortunately my baby isn't an infant anymore, and I think I may be spoiling her sometimes.

We're also branching out into new foods. I know she can pick up food and put it in her mouth, she just doesn't really want to sometimes. That's one of the reasons I may be spoiling her - she expects and prefers when I put it in her mouth for her. At least I know she can do a pretty good job chewing her food. So tonight I made some really lackluster black beans and rice for dinner (to see if she'd pick up any of it and put it in her mouth... just a tiny bit of rice, otherwise no go), and she ate it with me. I then fed her some baby food that must have been much more delicious, because I tried to give her more black beans after it and she just spat it out. She only recently started spitting food back out... luckily she enjoys most foods, and only does that when she isn't hungry or was eating something else she really enjoyed right before. So far.

That's a basic update. Maybe I should have spent the time searching for my camera cord instead.... how many pictures do you suppose I can fit in one post?

Hiatus?

Looks like I haven't written in a while. For one thing, it's hard to take good pictures now that the baby is in constant motion. (I do have some pretty good videos, though.) Also, I'm doing summer term, which is fast-paced. Between school work and baby, and the occasional housework, I'm pretty swamped. However, as long as I pass physical science, I will graduate in August! Finally!

You know what else is happening? We're moving. All we need to do is sign the contract and put down the deposit, and we'll have the keys. So, of course that happens the week before finals. At least we aren't moving super far away, and I only have maybe one class to attend after we officially move. And I'm so excited about this new place, because the carpets are actually soft and it feels a million times bigger than our current place. Yes, part of it is because it's empty, but I'm pretty sure the master bedroom is at least as big as our main room - bigger, if you count the ginormous walk-in closet and master bathroom. Hah! I am so excited. It's more expensive, but the way I figure it, our current complex was going to raise our rent (without providing internet & cable like they used to) and so it doesn't work out to much more than we would be paying for much more apartment. And... there's a pool. I feel pretty good about it.

There's my quick update. Probably the last one until the end of August or sometime in September. Maybe sooner if we happen to get a jump on baby's next surgery. (Our next doctor appointment is August 1st, so I doubt it, but it would be kind of nice to get it over with.)

To my dad

I just wanted to give a quick happy father's day to my daddy. My husband is wonderful, and I'm so glad he's a great father to our baby, but today I was thinking about my dad. I've always been especially fond of my dad - not quite a daddy's girl, though only because I was just as much a momma's girl. In the past five or so years, though, our relationship has changed a little, and I'm not sure which one instigated the change. It's become more... spiritual. My dad loves to tell me stories from his Primary children (he teaches 11-12 year olds at church) and things he learned or experienced as a result of studying the scriptures. I think that's pretty great, and I love the way he does it. It's very childlike... and tender. Special, like he's sharing a little bit of himself. It is almost a perfect embodiment of our relationship, I feel... tender and a little childlike. Sweet and innocent, yet with a touch of perfect Godly love.

I'll never be able to express how much my relationship with my daddy means to me. I told him how I shared the example of how he tells me stories from the Primary children during a church class today, and I hope he understood a little bit of how I appreciate him.

And, of course, being a family studies major, I appreciate him for numerous reasons. (Father-daughter relationships can have many positive outcomes.)

So, to my dad, and all daddys who love their children.... thank you.

No more excuses!

Sooooo I started this post maybe a week ago. Then my baby got good at crawling and I've been super exhausted. Now I have no more excuses.

Okay! So I found my USB cable for my camera today and uploaded a bunch of stuff! I have taken a TON of movies since my last upload, though, so I probably won't put them all up here. I'm actually considering a youtube channel for the grandparents and other interested parties of the ones that I don't think will entertain the masses, though as a parent I still love any video of my daughter (so I think her grandparents would, too). Without any further ado, here is a video of baby girl trying to catch some sun.

Yes, she is literally trying to catch the ray of sun. We had just gotten up and were playing before breakfast when I look over... and grabbed the camera. It's mostly from behind because she usually gets distracted when I pull out the camera.

And now, a picture dump.

I put her in her car seat for a nap, because I thought she would feel more "cradled" (she was having a hard time being put down), but then I hear some funny noise, and she had just slipped right out! This was before she could sit up on her own.

A common occurrence during mealtimes, but I think I took this picture for the funny way her legs were sticking out.

She can kneel. Pretty cool, huh?

Apparently she sleeps like this a lot now.

Squish face!

I've had a few circumstances where I've actually had to get my baby out of bed (horrible, right?), and I've come in to find her sleeping on her belly with her little bum slightly in the air. I have a theory it's her version of cuddling, as much as she can with a mattress, anyway. SUPER cute, yes?

Stalling

Back in the day I said something about not being able to find my camera, which is why I haven't really posted. I found it, not terribly long after, but was just lazy for a while. Today, I thought, shoot! Let me upload some cute pictures! And now I don't know where my usb cord is to download the pictures. Oops. Buuut I'll look. Maybe I'll find some time to upload them on Monday, when my hubby is home from work.

I don't have any photographic evidence yet, but baby is starting to crawl! Watch out apartment, we won't know what hit us... so far, she really only crawls a couple inches before forgetting what she needs to move next and falling over, but she did figure out that if she's on her hands and knees, she can sort of back up until she's sitting up. Cool trick, baby girl!

Other fun news: my parents are up for the weekend. Literally just the weekend; my dad doesn't get time off, so they drove up today and are leaving Monday morning (after breakfast). Fortunately we got to have dinner with them tonight, as they made excellent time. At first baby was a little serious and standoffish, but luckily she warmed up quickly and was very smiley! Yay baby girl!

So, remember when I used to let my baby cry it out? Well... umm... I don't really do that any more. Occasionally during nap times, and if I know she's so super tired that she'll fall right to sleep. Anyway, last night was not a good night. I'll often get up a time or two, feed her for a few minutes, and she'll go right back to sleep. I'm okay with that. Last night, though, she did not want to be put down, so in frustration I let her cry for a little while until I was calm enough to deal with her some more. By then... she was super awake. Sigh. And she'd gotten up twice before that. At least the night before was pretty good! We have good nights and not-so-good nights. Unfortunately, last night was not one of the good ones. Fortunately, she's been a pretty awesome baby today.

Also. Penzeys spices. Mmm. I wish they would come to Utah. I have no idea how my sister found out about them, as they were buried somewhere in the outskirts of Portland, but I recently found out they are in Beaverton, way easy to get to (from my old home). So I got some hand-delivered goods today! I am so excited. The cocoa smells like a chocolate bar, the cinnamon is a dream. I got some extracts, too... yummy. I think, if they came to Utah, I would get all my herbs and everything from them. I would order them online, except that I dislike shipping fees so much. If my parents didn't come up this weekend, though, I might have caved because I almost ran out of the cinnamon I had before, and I just can't go back.

For not having pictures, this turned into a really long post. That said...

The end.

Sometimes I see pictures of women cuddling with their newborns right after birth, and I get a little twinge of jealousy. It almost makes me want to get pregnant again just so I can have that moment to look forward to. Then I think of my gorgeous baby and the snuggles I get with her (and the sleep!) and the feeling goes away. Usually.

In other news, the camera is buried somewhere on our couch, which has become the semi-temporary home of things we find our baby rolling to get that we'd rather not have her chew on. So, when I find it, I should have some gems. My favorite of which is a video of baby trying to catch the sun. It's killing me to not be able to show it off.

Giggles

I recently learned that my aunt checks in on my blog every once in a while. So, if I post the same pictures here as I do on Facebook, well, at least hopefully I'll have better stories here.

Lately Baby has been super giggly. It's very fun. Most of the time I don't even try to do anything and she starts laughing, or I'll do something I've done a thousand times and she'll suddenly laugh at it. (Or I'll do something that made her laugh once a thousand times to never hear a giggle from it again. Babies.) Yesterday I was mindlessly rolling the rings to one of those stacking toys when suddenly...

Boom. Giggles galore. She also really enjoys peek-a-boo when she's in her carseat and I'm outside the car. It's fun... except that the doors are usually shut, so I can't hear the giggles. Sad day.

Another giggle video (since you can't have enough, right?): baby was happily bouncing in her little jungle-bouncer-thingy, and she was just sooo adorable that I had to go play with her. Turns out she likes my hair. :-)

I had a successful round of peek-a-boo giggles first, but Grandma pulled out the camera and then she was just intently watching the camera instead.

Also, my baby now has little baby teeth! Her two front ones decided to come at the same time. We saw them hanging out just under the gums for a little while, but now they are definitely peeking out. Not quite razor sharp, though probably only because she hasn't bitten too hard yet.

Okay, so they may be hard to see in this picture. Work with me... baby teeth are difficult to capture. Hmm. Other precious moments lately.

She has learned to clap! I have a video of that, too, but I wouldn't want blogger to have an upload heart attack, so I think two videos is enough for this particular post. I think it came about partly because I gave her two plastic bowls to bang around. She's very good at the up and down motion with her arms, so when she had a bowl in each hand, they sort of smacked each other when she banged them down. Well, that was so cool that she just kept getting more and more horizontal motion instead of just vertical, and now she loves banging everything together. She likes to clap my hands, too. And her hands, of course. I love it when she claps; it's like everything is exciting and new.

Speaking of bowls, I've finally started letting her play with everyday items these past few months. A measuring cup, a medicine spoon (she actually stole that one, and I didn't feel like I needed to take it away), and the two plastic bowls. Another toy I let her have:

Things wrapped in plastic! In this case, a granola bar. Maybe that's bad parenting, but I figure she really goes for crinkly plastic things, and this way at least I know she's contentedly munching on a granola bar wrapper instead of trying to get at some bigger plastic object. It's also handy in distracting her from trying to eat all the paper in sight... or at least placating her when I take the paper away. (Am I missing some boat? Do other parents just let their babies suck on/eat paper?)

Speaking of bad parenting. Heh. I occasionally let her fall asleep while nursing and just hold her. Especially when I'm super tired (like first thing in the morning. Yes, those are my jammies). So this is post-nursing nap, and I loved the way she fell asleep with her hands all clasped.

One more picture just for kicks. This Sunday, we played baby dress-up, as usual. And, as usual, she was adorable.

Love this baby girl.

A tale of two Emily stories

There may be more than two Emily stories, but I have two in particular to share.

I believe last time I referred to her dislike of squash. Well, Gary was feeding her yesterday evening and we decided to give it another whirl. Sooo I got the camera out. She actually ate more of it, because Gary kept trying to get it in her mouth and succeeding, and she kept making some amazing faces. I guess that's only one story because I have some sweet pictures to accompany it.

Sweet, unsuspecting Baby

Not sure what to think....

Leaning towards dislike...

Yeah, this stuff is gross.

I'm probably just a super mean mommy, but that disgusted face just gets me. I love that picture.

Another picture I love? Let me preface it with a short story.

Our naptimes are sort of in a state of flux - I tried to set naptimes, but she kept falling asleep before them, or she would be out with a babysitter away from her crib, sleep until an hour before her next naptime... things like that. Usually, though, our ten o'clock nap is pretty solid, within twenty minutes either way, she's exhausted. So, last week, I had put her in her bouncer for a while in the morning so I could do some homework, and I got up to do something maybe five minutes before her nap. Time ran away from me, and next thing I knew, it was 10:15! Whoops. I thought for sure the baby had been bouncing around and playing, but when I went to get her....

Fast asleep! She would occasionally twitch in her sleep, though, causing her to look like she was still playing. It isn't immediately obvious, but she was facing into the corner at the time. So precious. So hilarious. That's my girl!

And just a picture this time:

Happy Sunday!

Not so teeny

Well, we started pulling out the 9-month clothes this past week. My husband had pulled out a cute little outfit a little over a week ago, but it was way too summery and it was only supposed to be, umm, 50 degrees or something outside. It came out again, though, since we had a 76 degree day, and it fit like a dream. I'd looked at the 9-month sleepers about two weeks ago, asking Hubby if he thought it might fit baby, since her 6-month sleepers were getting too short in the leg, but he said, nooo, looks too long still. Out of curiosity, I put one on her a few nights ago... and it fit like a dream. That makes part of me a little sad! So I'm packing up her 6-month ones, because really, it's too short in the legs, though the onsies are still kind of okay. And I was thinking about her little tiny newborn clothes, and how ginormous I thought her 3-6 month sleeper was... my little girl is growing up.

Today she rolled on to her belly and started pushing her torso off the ground! She doesn't get real far before she starts scooting backwards, since we still have her on a slippery play mat. I had visions of her starting to scoot and crawl around... yikes. I better get ready for that, quick, because I am definitely not ready now.

And random funny story: I saw some baby foods on sale when I went to get her some oatmeal, so I decided to try a few new vegetables out. Tonight I pulled out the squash, and I thought it smelled pretty good - kind of a mix of the yummy-smelling carrots and sweet potatoes, both of which she loves. She took a bite of the squash, her eyes got kind of wide, and she opened her mouth in that adorable "feed me" kind of way that she usually does with carrots (she loooooves carrots) or foods she likes. She did this for a few bites before she looked almost like she was gagging. And boy, did she not open her mouth after a few more bites with that grossed-out face. Hah! I was totally fooled! Maybe she was too. I might try a few bites tomorrow.

Here is that adorable 9-month outfit: it has a little skirt! Also, that little grin just kills me.

A hairy situation

We had a little incident with the vacuum the other week where it was accidentally placed over a sock while the hose was being used for some detail work... and the sock got sucked up and the vacuum stopped whirring. Fortunately we're pretty sure only the belt broke. Unfortunately this belt has been a complete pain to find. Fortunately I vacuumed possibly the day before this incident. Unfortunately, baby has been pulling out increasing amounts of my hair. Today she even started pulling it out with her toes (as I nibble on her tummy after diaper changes). Gross. Hair everywhere. Even worse, we have baby on the floor a lot. Hair all over baby's toys, play mat, you name it, there's probably a stray hair or two to be found on it. 

On a completely different note, two papers and one essay test is all that stands between me and (temporary) freedom. I haven't completely decided yet if I'm going to do my last class(es) independent study or during the summer term - if I can get a high enough score on the physical science exam, I could keep the credit hours and take my other class free with a scholarship. Even if I don't take physical science, I could still potentially get leftover pell grant money to help pay for tuition. If I can stand to be in 2+ hours of class a few times a week. Oh, this baby. So... I might still do the course independent study. Just so I don't have to commit to class hours and due dates. 

Also. I don't exactly know where my camera cord is so I haven't downloaded many new pictures since my last update. And the pictures I've been taking haven't been super high quality. But what is this blog with out my cute baby? So here's one I took of an outfit I especially enjoyed. Overalls that were too long and a smidgeon too small around baby's adorable chubby gut. Which is a shame - I may not put her in those cute overalls ever again.

PS. I only really put those bows on her head for church and pictures. Occasionally events like wedding receptions. I find they don't stay on her head well enough during daily activities, especially with nursing. So I put it on her head and then took it off shortly after the picture. :-)

Giggling

I have a confession: I love my little baby. (Surprise!) No, that isn't my confession... but I loved that my baby was little and squishy, and back when she first started smiling, I occasionally wished that once she started to laugh, she would just stay that age forever. I take it back, though. It's so fun to see her talking and rolling and getting strong and sitting up and eating baby food... She's a pretty fun kid.

Also, I started doing (more) regular naps in the crib (thanks, Kandra, for the encouragement). She doesn't usually sleep very long, but she does sleep three times a day, so that's something. I figure as we get more used to nap time, she'll sleep longer than half an hour. Tonight I was a total sucker and let her sleep while I held her, and she slept at least an hour not long before bedtime. She stayed up a tiny bit longer than usual, but went right to sleep (or if she didn't, she didn't make much noise). Poor little tired baby.

In other news, I only have one more class period to attend this semester. Hooray! Unfortunately, I have two papers due in the next week, one on Wednesday and the other Friday. They shouldn't be too bad, I just have to crank them out. And, as I was discussing with another mother today, at this point I just want to pass. So I would like to make them excellent papers (especially one of them), I just also only really care about passing. The other mother told me, mostly jokingly, "D's get degrees." It's probably a good thing that these two papers are essentially a third of my grade in each class, or I would be sorely tempted not to do them. Ten percent? Pssh, I could totally take off ten percent of my grade. Thirty percent plus, though, that is waaay too much to just blow off.

But I just want to play with my baaaaaby. (And maybe use my extra time to clean the house instead of procrastinate my homework.)

Our little piggyback shorty. 

(She hit dad on the head, which is why his expression looks like that. All the other pictures were blurry.)

I discovered she likes to sleep on her side, like she's nursing. Though... in this picture... I put her down like that. Still cute.

She reached for my plate when I was done.

Though she later got frustrated when she tried to eat it and it wouldn't bend to her will.

Sleep training

So I've made an attempt at letting baby girl "cry it out" lately, because I don't know why she keeps waking up, and I can only assume it's because she is so used to being held and loved by us. I really wish I knew what was the problem, because that would be easier to fix. Since I don't, though, I just decided to try my hand at sleep training.

Here at BYU, most of the professors are big on attachment theory. Thus, I'm rather fond of it myself. So I never imagined using a cry it out technique, because I wouldn't want my baby to feel like I wouldn't be there for her. Turns out I was just making assumptions about what Ferber's cry it out method was, because he very reasonably points out that it isn't beneficial for either the parent or the child to suddenly withdraw all comfort at bedtime/throughout the night.

So, here's a basic sum-up from what I've learned/read about Ferber's technique in the past few days:

- The idea is to help baby learn to fall asleep on her own. So I put her down awake.
- When I walk away, she usually cries. I have a plan, though, of how long I wait before going back to check on her.
- I check on her and comfort her briefly without picking her up. Mostly I reassure myself that she's okay.
- Each night I wait a little longer before checking on her, and also throughout the night, I'll check on her after longer time periods (at first I waited five minutes, then seven, then ten. Now I'll usually wait eight minutes, or even longer if she stops for a minute).

By now, we're doing pretty good. She isn't waking up every hour or two, which is SO nice. She was still super tired tonight, but we've also had some changing bedtimes lately which I'm sure doesn't help. I think I'm supposed to use the same method for nap times, I just haven't been very good about having a "set" nap time.

I think one of the hardest things for me (aside from, you know, letting her cry) is that I secretly really love holding my sleeping baby. Which might be why I have such a hard time with naps... I let her nurse herself to sleep and just snuggle her for a while. Yeah... I'm so good at consistency.

It's that time again...

Time for a procrastination blog post! Yes, I am working on an assignment. I just finished a good chunk of it, and I'm pretty excited by how it's turning out. So, the logical conclusion is to take that energy and write a blog post, right? I thought so, too.

Baby girl and I had a couple adventures yesterday - we weren't at home very much. I had to take her to campus for my class, but it all worked out. (She even made some new friends in my second class!) And then we headed up to Taylorsville for a wedding reception after class. We didn't get back until I think... 8:30? I was hoping to get her to bed between 8:30 and 9, but since she slept most/all of the way up to Taylorsville and at least half the way back, I wasn't sure I'd be doing either of us any favors by trying to get her back to sleep right away. So she went to bed at 10, and went down with hardly a peep. Only up once last night to eat. (My thoughts on Ferber's sleep-training method should be coming soon...) Got up about the same time she usually does, between 7:30 and 8.

Mostly I told that story because tonight she was sitting with her dad (so I could do my homework) and she started falling asleep at 8! Actually, I started her little solid food meal around 6:45, and between making little batches of oatmeal and feeding her somewhat distracted self, Gary wasn't finished until 7:30 or so, after which he bathed her. Because she was gross. I nursed her after, and I could tell she was about to doze off, so I stopped nursing and sat her up and bounced her a bit. It was cute, though, watching her nodding off in Hubby's arms.

She did wake up about an hour later, but we let her cry for a bit, and she's back to sleep now. Poor, tired little girl. She was a pretty busy girl today, too, and so didn't get prime napping time. Hopefully she'll still sleep until 7:30 or 8... that's my only concern, really.

Oh, and happy 6 months to my little angel baby.

Who by the way likes to sit up on her own these days. We took her to Texas Roadhouse tonight and at one point I had her sitting on the bench of the booth next to me. It was super precious, because she's so little, but I had this funny moment where I realized she would be sitting next to me (or dad) in a booth for a long time, and mostly not as small as she is now.

Oh boy, I love being a mom.

Carrot Face

I have a little baby who absolutely loves carrots. I've had her get pretty enthusiastic about her cereal, but never any of the fruits and veggies. She kept reaching for more! Now, a certain amount got on her bib, face, hands, and pants... but I think maybe even with all the smearing, she ate double of anything else she's tried (cereal excluded). Here I was wondering if she just wasn't really into solids yet, and I just wasn't giving her the right ones! Right when I opened it, even I thought they smelled delicious, almost like pumpkin. I kept checking the label to make sure they were really carrots, and only carrots. I want whatever carrots Gerber uses. Seriously.

Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of her carroty face. I especially wish I'd captured the moment that she got a little glob on her eyelashes. Cute.

In other news, even though we still haven't figured out sleep, she keeps me going with her smiles. I thought as I was wiping carrot off her face just now that taking care of Baby is definitely my favorite part of the day. Cleaning the house, going through school, and everything else probably has more noticeable reward, but this little girl is my favorite.

Who needs sleep?

This post is mostly to make myself feel better.

My daughter was a wonderful sleeper, up until shortly after she hit 4 months. We figure she had a bit of constipation, so she would wake up with the effort of trying to excrete. Then she had another UTI (actually, she might have had the UTI the whole time), and then she had surgery. Whew. It's been interesting.

Lately, though, she's been even worse than she was the past month and a half. I thought maybe all my bad sleep-training habits had finally caught up with me, but when I thought I'd start letting her cry a little, I noticed it got worse. Her cries, to me, sounded so much like pain. And I thought she was in pain.

Tonight, my husband finally noticed it too. I wasn't making it up! When he went to rub a little vaseline on where her ureter comes out (where she had her surgery), he noticed it looked a little red. We're going to call on Monday to see what we can or should do about it. Poor little girl. I thought I noticed her crying a few days ago when the ureter was draining (quick anatomy review - the ureter is the tube from which the kidney drains into the bladder. Baby's got two - one wasn't draining hardly at all, so they moved it out to the skin. Weird, I know), and I think she even seemed to flinch when I went to rub vaseline on it once. The only trouble is that she doesn't do it every time - I see the ureter drain and she's just doing her thing. But it did look a little red to me last night. Maybe it's swollen? I don't know.

Anyway. It makes me feel a little better as a mother that I haven't simply failed at helping my baby to sleep. I still have some work to do in the sleep training department, but I feel somewhat justified in my actions for now. Who's going to turn away a baby in pain? Not me, that's for sure. I love my little girl. Even if she does persistently scream every two hours or so.

(Confession: I've taken to brief periods of co-sleeping with the little girl because I'm too tired to stay up with her until she won't scream when I put her down. Not the best three-hour stretches of my life, but possibly better than the less-than-two I've been getting.)

But you know she makes it all better the next day. <3

Doing alright

We had a little procedure done on Friday morning. After a somewhat trying week, Baby was surprisingly chipper that morning. Not so much that afternoon. But look! We had to put her in baby scrubs, which were pretty awesome.

Primary Children's is an excellent facility, by the way; I was quite impressed by the accommodations for waiting  families and how they handled everything. We got in quite early, and though we were told they'd try and keep her over night (when we first discussed the surgery back in January), the doctor decided to just watch her a few hours and send her home after she'd had some fluids. We were home that afternoon.

Poor baby... she was very lethargic and whenever we had to move her, she'd cry as if in pain. Fortunately, today has been much better, and she even began smiling this evening, more like her normal self. Unfortunately, she developed a fever so the doctor had to stick a catheter in her. :-( I can only imagine how not-good that felt after her surgery.

The other good news is that she had normal weight gain this week. I don't know how much fluid is left in her from the IV yesterday, but even before surgery, her weight gain was right on track. What a relief! Even if I do have to deal with the occasional bottle and the pumping. Maybe if she's doing real well at her 6 month checkup, I can drop the formula-enhanced bottles. At least I know she can kind of take a bottle. Much easier to leave her with a sitter this way.

You know what else has been good news in all this? I've learned that A) people are really nice and B) I have friends. Excellent friends. Maybe it sounds silly, but I wasn't sure I had anyone nearby that I felt I could just hang out with. Turns out I do! I am surrounded by excellent people.

Plenty to worry about

I don't know how some women do it. Moms who go to school and/or go to work, yet still manage to be good moms (and get the dishes done, I bet!). I only feel capable of doing one or the other, though I more than likely have horrible time-management skills. Normally I'm not big into the comparison game, but in motherhood, I play the worst kind: I compare to the way I imagine all mothers must be.

On the other hand, I realize some of my struggles are a little out of the ordinary. She is having surgery this week  (the first of two). I had yet another doctor appointment today where I found out she still hasn't gained back the weight she lost from her most recent UTI, and in fact she probably should've gained 6-12 ounces in the past two weeks and she only gained 3. We've been to the pediatrician 4 times in the past month. So today, instead of dedicatedly tackling the 40+ pages of reading I have left and possibly starting on the 5 journal article reviews due in a week, I spent the past two hours looking into how I could help my baby gain weight, wondering if my milk supply was low, and considering making an appointment with a lactation consultant. Or maybe her surgery will help her feel better, so she'll be able to eat and grow normally.

I just want to take my baby out for a walk on a beautiful day, but I haven't even mentioned all the housework I've neglected. Guess I just need to work on my mad babywearing skillz.

Oh, well - with a face like this, what do I really have to complain about?

And now for something completely different!

I put my baby down in her crib for a nap (already asleep) and turned on the baby monitor, getting ready to do some of my neglected housework. It was silent, so imagine my surprise when I walked into the room and saw this:

Once again, though... with a face like that, who really cares?

Also, I got these cute little baby hair things in a set with a headband. The headband is too small, and she never really had enough hair for the hair things, but I decided to give it a go anyway.

Hee. Maybe one day she'll get some hair.

Give Peas a Chance

After almost a week of successful rice cereal feedings, I finally got off my duff and cooked up some peas for baby to try. I now understand the appeal of jarred baby food. Also, turns out my immersion blender is not the finest at pureeing. The good news is that baby ate peas!

However, I'm thinking she hasn't decided if she actually likes them or not.

We'll try again today, though. I had to make more than enough so my immersion blender could actually blend the peas. (Which I may have learned through frustrating experience a few days ago.)

All we are saying is give peas a chance....

Graves

Yesterday, I was out on a walk with Baby, when my hubby called and said he was probably going to pick up a grave shift that night, since they couldn't find anyone to cover it and he'd had to take some emergency time off earlier this week. Now, my hubby works from 2-10 PM, and graves go from 10 PM - 6 AM. Ouchie. So, last night I brought him some food... and his desktop computer. Not the first time he's had that guy at work (so he can play games on reeeeeally slow days, like Thanksgiving), but it was my first time taking apart his computer. I felt reasonably accomplished after that. The whole thing felt like an adventure (for me... he was probably miserable since he told me he was already pretty tired at 10), but we'll see how today goes.

Right now, I still feel like it's 8 in the morning, because he's still in bed. (Also, baby had a bit of a horrible evening last night. The benefit was that I was awake when hubby came home at 6:30, so I actually got to "go to sleep" with him after all. The disadvantage was, well, I got up an hour later with the kid and have been up since. I guess this "aside" is a bit long for parentheses.) Maybe by the time I've actually showered and finished the laundry, he'll be up and it will feel like a normal day again.

My guy really knows how to bring home the bacon. I only hope his sleep schedule isn't too messed up for doing it.

Hungry baby

My little dear has seemed, to me, to want to eat solid food for a while. I read something a while back, though, that suggested that staying on breastmilk for the full six months might help with allergies or antibodies or something useful sounding, so I was determined to wait it out. Until she started grabbing at my food, staring longingly at our food, and not seeming satisfied after feedings yet not taking more milk (when I was pretty sure I still had some). The only reason I waited until today was because I had a doctor appointment, and I wanted to clear it with him, what with her surgery coming up pretty soon. He actually strongly agreed, hoping it would help her regain some of the weight she's lost in the past three weeks or so.

Well, I'd say it was a success! The very first spoonful she looked at me like she didn't really know what was going on, and then I thought maybe she was just playing with the spoon, but she wasn't spitting it out, and she seemed to like it. The first bit I mixed with quite a bit of milk so it would taste, umm, like what she used to eat, but lessened the amount a little in my next few batches. That's right. She kept eating. It took at least into the second tablespoon for her to finally tell me she was full. I could tell she was getting there because she wasn't as excited about eating near the end.

Here, pictures are the best anyway:

Food? I'm just going to eat my bib. Thanks.

What is this?

All finished! (With the first batch.)

I probably didn't mention that I nursed her a little bit before and after that first batch. Yeah. I always knew this kid was an eater. I just didn't realize how much she wanted to move on from eating just milk. I wish I'd gotten a picture of later feeding, because she took to grabbing the handle of the spoon and shoving it into her mouth (yes, I was holding it/guiding it too). SUPER cute. That's another reason I knew she was slowing down; she hesitated before grabbing the spoon.

Lesson learned: make more food from the get-go. Baby likes to eat. She was pretty happy about it.

At least she's really cute

Sometimes my baby falls asleep while nursing. Sometimes I just let her hang out there, cause I know she'll sleep longer if she's being held. Sometimes this means I get pretty bored. (Yes, I do have homework. No, I don't want to do it right now.) Enter the blog. Unfortunately, not much has been going on around here. Hubby and I have been sick and lazy, and baby is returning to her normal self after her most recent bout with infection. (Occasionally I realize she could have had her surgery by now and I kick myself.)

We did go to Tucano's to celebrate my birthday on Saturday (and because they sent me a free meal voucher... I love birthday clubs). Baby slept through most of it, which was amazing, but when she woke up and hubby took her out of the car seat, she started screeeeaaaaaming. Apparently she didn't like the excitement, noise, and/or people. I left without being stuffed, getting my little birthday icecream, or any extra cheese bread things. I think that was the saddest part. (My life is so hard, right?) She calmed down right after leaving though, poor dear. And it's possible she's been extra cute lately to make up for it. Here, I'll give some proof.

Mmm, toes.

This is something she's taken to lately - she can grab the pacifier while it's in her mouth, and she pulls it out. But I figure she can't put it back in yet, so what does she do? Chew on the side. I missed a beautiful photo opp just before this where she'd gotten... umm... the sticky-outy part on the back into her mouth in such a way that she was sucking on the pacifier without holding it. It's hard to describe, but I laughed and laughed and took a picture just as she spat it out. Oh, well.

That's about all for now. Our neighbors made something delicious and (American-)Italian smelling, and it's making me hungry! Time to see if the baby girl will be okay separated from me for a few moments.

She's so high

Trying out the high chair!

It's possible that she is ready for solids (though maybe not, because of a tongue reflex), but I'm balking a little because I'm not ready for her to start solids. I was planning on having six months! Well, I guess that's what happens with plans. My next plan was to wait until after her surgery... The current plan is to talk to her doctor when I go in next week about starting solids. Whew.

Right after I put her in, she christened the high chair by first leaning forward and sucking on the little arm of it, closely followed by some mean spitup. We waste no time over here!

My Sunday Thought

I remember once, during tummy time, baby seemed to be getting tired from holding her head up and started to fuss. Since she had only been doing it a few minutes, I told her, "I know this is hard, but if you don't do it, how else are you going to grow big and strong?"

Whoa.

Life lesson. To myself.

I think that a lot when I'm talking to my daughter - I should really be listening to what I'm saying. It hasn't taken me too long to catch a glimpse of why Heavenly Father wants us to be parents (though I'm sure it is just a glimpse, so far).

Sometimes I wonder if God is as sorrowful as I am to let things, painful things, happen to his children. I know my baby hates hates hates her medicine, but if she doesn't take it, she'll get an infection. If I don't take her in for surgery, she'll have problems with infections the rest of her life or possibly have kidney failure. She won't understand... and even if she did, it will still hurt. Does God ever feel that sadness when he knows he has to let bad things happen to his children? I have a lot of questions like that. The more my understanding of the nature of God deepens, the more my hypotheses change... but I still don't really know.

And, even though I feel like I've already learned a lot from being a parent... I'm super glad God is a perfect parent.

Posing

A few pictures from the changing table...

Baby sweatpants. What else can I say?

Happy Sunday Post

I remember thinking this morning, "This is not my day." Fortunately, I can't remember exactly why I thought that. Baby's in bed sleeping away, even after a rough afternoon. (She has a low grade fever... so... we are going to see how she is in the morning and possibly go to the doctor.) I managed to bake some super delicious cookies tonight.... that were egg free. Totally ate a ton of the dough. Yummy.

Basically I feel pretty chill right now. I should go to bed soon, though, since Baby went to bed a little earlier than usual. Meaning she's going to get up sooner than normal... I can handle that, though. I just hope her fever doesn't spike in the middle of the night. The first time she had a fever, we were able to go into the doctor and get her checked out (since I discovered her fever around 6 and didn't know what to do... longest two hours of my life), but the next time was Thanksgiving. Swell. Actually, I think that time was 4 in the morning or something and I woke Hubby up because I was having difficulty with the 24/7 line and didn't know what to do. Nothing like spending Thanksgiving in the hospital, friends. (It's okay though - hubby had to work, anyway, and  I didn't have any plans.)

Baby is adorable. She's getting a little giggle going on, which is amazing. She is also getting closer to rolling over - from her back to her tummy, which was not the first roll I anticipated. When we were doing imaging at the hospital, she almost pushed herself from her tummy to her back (with her legs, mostly), but she hasn't really gotten as close since. 

Classes are going okayish; it's harder to finish the reading than I originally anticipated (especially when I decide to blog instead), but babysitting is working out nicely so far. And I figure, this close to graduating, I won't be too disappointed if I don't get straight As. I might be kind of traumatized if I get a C, but I have complete confidence I would get over it. As long as this does end in graduation. Cool deal, Neal.

Woof. Just got hit with a wave of The Tired. Must be time for bed... I'm okay with that.

Do something good

I was reading my cousin's blog this morning, where she decided to use some Christmas funds for self-betterment instead of merely gratification, and she wrote that she sat back and realized she did something good for herself.

When I finished my breakfast, I finally pulled out the multivitamin after at least a week's neglect and thought, "I'm going to do something good for myself." I decided in that moment, wouldn't it be great if I did something good for myself every day? Not in a selfish, it's-all-about-me fashion, or even the often-necessary time to myself, but something that helps me feel better as a person. You know, sort of like that daily improvement thing I should be doing anyway... yeah. I take inspiration where I can get it.

Today it was just taking a pill (did I mention I secretly hate/fear pills? True story); tomorrow I may try to find some quality time with the scriptures. After that, who knows? Assuming I keep up with it, I'll try not to be repetitive (like counting my multivitamin every day), but I also want to be realistic. If taking my multivitamin after a long night or crazy morning is all I can manage, I'll consider it my good deed.

And, hey, maybe after I figure out how to do something good for myself, it will be easier to do something good for others. Or is it the other way around?

To Whom It May Concern

Dear World,

May I complain for a bit? I'll try to keep it brief.

I liked being a full-time mom. And, to be honest, I felt pretty luck to take care of anything besides Baby and the occasional meal throughout the day.

This responsibility business with school is really throwing off my groove. What if Baby is awake and wants to play? I guess I am pretty horrid at being responsible and reading while feeding her, which is probably the biggest claim on my time at the moment.

So, I guess I basically led a charmed life while only being responsible for the baby, and I want it back. Course, I am also slightly traumatized y the babysitting situations today - my plans fell through this morning and I couldn't take her to class, and while they fell through this afternoon, we found a replacement... it's just that when I went to pick her up, she was crying inconsolably! Traumatizing. She should have been ale to go that long without eating, but you know babies -- they eat on their time. Lesson learned: send milk with the baby. Poor thing.

Also, Baby is having some medical imaging done tomorrow morning... up in Salt Lake. And I just realized this evening that I'll be part of the dreaded Morning Commute. And that I'll probably need to leave no later than 7. Yay. Hopefully baby will sleep through it.

That is all. Sincerely, Diane

PS - To make this post a little more chipper, I decided to add baby pictures at the end. Can you see why I just want to play with her all day?

Really Funny

To borrow a friend's joke, I think Baby's new year resolution is to eat as much of every day as possible.

Actually, it's possible that a recent stomach bug of mine caused my milk to be low (since I didn't/couldn't eat much for a few days and wasn't stellar about drinking enough fluid), and also, she might be attempting a growth spurt. Cause, you know, 15 pounds at the beginning of three months isn't big enough. Since I was sick, I indulged her and let her nurse as long as she wanted. Now that I'm better, I'd like to do a few things.

Last night, she was attempting to eat constantly before bed. Each time I tried to put her down, she would wake and usually fuss, her hands clasped together and one or both fists in her mouth. (As a side note, I'm impressed by how much of her hand fits into her mouth when she's hungry.) Finally, around midnight we thought for sure she was finished for the night, and I gave her a few extra snuggles before putting her down.

I had to leave her kicking around for a few minutes before coming back for her because I was so tired and upset that she woke up. My husband was actually the one who picked her up and convinced me to try feeding her again, since she usually only really stays up late when she's hungry, even though she might not at first appear hungry. After that feeding, she was limp and out like a light. I gratefully settled down for my five or six hours, the time being almost two o'clock.

Surprise! Baby was hungry at 4. At least she ate quickly and went back down pretty fast.

At 6:30, I convinced her that she was just tired and soothed her back to sleep after a few minutes.

At 7:15, she convinced me that only feeding her was going to help. I sighed and got to work.

At 9, I got up again and decided to feed her in bed, but she decided she didn't want to eat just then. Luckily my hubby was up. He looked at the clock and said, "Seven hours isn't so bad, I guess." I just laughed (bitterly) and informed him that I had slept five of those hours. Then Baby told me she wanted to go play with Daddy. >:-) Fortunately she was being extremely cute just then.

On a more lighthearted note, Baby took a short nap in her crib this afternoon with only a little spitup. Yay! Also, I made Mexican Lasagna which was AMAZING, and Baby tried out her new playmat for the first time today. I would upload some cute pictures, except that I'm ashamed to admit that the last time I put the camera battery in the charger, I put it in backwards, so the camera is currently juiceless. Sad, embarrassing day.

She just woke up. After eating. And wouldn't you know, she's acting hungry.

I Believe in the Kitchen Table

So, possibly for the first time in our marriage, Gary and I sat down at a table and ate dinner together.

To somewhat justify the delay, we didn't have chairs for a long time. And even when we finally got them, they needed to be fixed and were pretty much unusable. Aaand then we has a baby.

Yesterday, my husband was amazing and cleaned the kitchen again. He did such a good job that I was inspired to set the table for dinner. He was just as excited as I was, which I wasn't sure he would be, what with the individual habits we've built up. It was amazing, though - I pulled out the canned fruit, so we had fruit on the side, we sat next to each other and talked (my husband likes to put on a tv show on Netflix, usually), and... it felt like a real dinner. Baby was even asleep for most of it, so we got to enjoy it together. The thought of having dinner at our table together actually makes me want to keep the kitchen clean. Not that I don't like it clean, I just need motivation to make it a priority. I can just picture us in there, just enough room for Baby's high chair on the side, all eating as a family. Even if we occasionally eat in silence or have melt-downs further on down the road, I can see why everyone says family meals are so important.

I like it.