So I've made an attempt at letting baby girl "cry it out" lately, because I don't know why she keeps waking up, and I can only assume it's because she is so used to being held and loved by us. I really wish I knew what was the problem, because that would be easier to fix. Since I don't, though, I just decided to try my hand at sleep training.
Here at BYU, most of the professors are big on attachment theory. Thus, I'm rather fond of it myself. So I never imagined using a cry it out technique, because I wouldn't want my baby to feel like I wouldn't be there for her. Turns out I was just making assumptions about what Ferber's cry it out method was, because he very reasonably points out that it isn't beneficial for either the parent or the child to suddenly withdraw all comfort at bedtime/throughout the night.
So, here's a basic sum-up from what I've learned/read about Ferber's technique in the past few days:
- The idea is to help baby learn to fall asleep on her own. So I put her down awake.
- When I walk away, she usually cries. I have a plan, though, of how long I wait before going back to check on her.
- I check on her and comfort her briefly without picking her up. Mostly I reassure myself that she's okay.
- Each night I wait a little longer before checking on her, and also throughout the night, I'll check on her after longer time periods (at first I waited five minutes, then seven, then ten. Now I'll usually wait eight minutes, or even longer if she stops for a minute).
By now, we're doing pretty good. She isn't waking up every hour or two, which is SO nice. She was still super tired tonight, but we've also had some changing bedtimes lately which I'm sure doesn't help. I think I'm supposed to use the same method for nap times, I just haven't been very good about having a "set" nap time.
I think one of the hardest things for me (aside from, you know, letting her cry) is that I secretly really love holding my sleeping baby. Which might be why I have such a hard time with naps... I let her nurse herself to sleep and just snuggle her for a while. Yeah... I'm so good at consistency.
good going Diane! That's the method we've used for both of our boys. Because of different personalities the waiting times were different for each kid but the method the same. You've got to set some naps girl! They sleep way better at night when they take 2-3 solid in-their-bed naps.
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