Today is the day... for Gary's colonoscopy. You know what? I'm nervous. I don't think anything will go wrong, but my poor boy is not going to be a happy camper, and probably won't be fully recovered until sometime tomorrow. At least, from what I've looked at so far, nothing is going to prevent him from eating real, tasty, solid food when we're done. Except perhaps personal discomfort... I guess doctors pump a bunch of carbon dioxide into the colon so they can see better? Helloooo gas pain and bloating. Ugh. At least he'll be sedated in some form or other, so perhaps the discomfort won't be too bad while the sedation is wearing off.
I confess, though, it all has me very distracted. Why? Couldn't really tell you. Probably because I keep trying to imagine what he's going through. I don't want him to feel like he's doing it alone, you know? But at the same time I already have pregnancy discomforts (I mean, they aren't that bad yet but I still have them), so compounding the few discomforts I have with trying to imagine what he's doing isn't going so well for me. I'm pretty glad I dropped my other class because of all this doctor nonsense... though it turns out that I only "dropped" the class, because I'm currently still registered so I have to petition to get it deleted... sigh. At least one person I've talked with though seems to think BYU handles petitions pretty well, so that should happen. Especially if I mention my husband's medical conditions, right? And my pregnancy I guess.
Speaking of pregnancy, I also need to get a counselor. Um, not that dramatic, I mean one for school. One who can help me decide what's best financially and if I could perhaps take one online class in the fall (just so that financial aid can mostly pay for it). Cause I was looking at the way that BYU awards pell grants, and what they would give me, at most, for the credits I plan on taking, wouldn't fully cover the cost of those credits. Which is fine, I guess, since my scholarship was only half-tuition anyway; the biggest problem is that we're going down to one income this time. And I don't have my sweet summer job to pay for most of the other half of tuition. It isn't that bad, really, I just wish it were a tiny bit more to help pay for a few books and, well, the baby expenses will be having. At least Gary should be hired on this fall, complete with benefits and pay-raise. (He's technically contracted right now, but they're still really nice to him and letting him work overtime and stuff.)
Okay. I'm starting to feel like I'm complaining. I just want to get it all out, you know? Release some anxiety. Distract myself from the fact that I'm stuck in this office with little motivation to do anything productive. (Though I partially blame lack of motivation on anxiety... hence the blog post!) So, on the bright side, I got to get another ultrasound yesterday, and I got it recorded on a DVD. And they gave me some real cute pictures of her profile - complete with a tiny fist by her mouth! I wonder if she sucks on her thumb already. :-) Gary gave me a hard time yesterday because I kept calling our baby cute, and he only saw the alienishness of the ultrasound. But golly, feeling her move and then seeing her in there, moving, with her little arms and legs and beautiful face... Yeah, I think she's pretty cute. I just hope her abnormal kidneys don't cause her any pain, cause that would be so sad. At least the doctor said everything else looks just great. Yay for a mostly healthy baby!
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