Self-reflection

Technically family studies, my major, is an "easy" major. It isn't very credit-heavy and with my emphasis the required courses are pretty flexible (take twelve credit hours within the major that are 300-level or above - that is one of my requirements). For many, it's a plan B to graduate sooner of if they don't get into a first-choice major. I guess it technically was for me when I realized I didn't actually want to major in what I was doing, but it wasn't because it was easy... it was cause I liked it.

And, you know, in a way it isn't that easy. It's a very personal major, at least my emphasis. From the very basic classes to the more advanced ones I'm choosing now, we are required almost every day in class and in assignments to reflect on our own family situations - what was good, and what wasn't so good. That can be surprisingly difficult. The class I'm in now, forming marital relations, is no different, except that I also look into the future a little and not just the past. It's interesting taking this class without my husband, because I sort of wish he knew what I knew about what is generally a good idea for couples.

It's hard enough to look back on family rituals and think about what we could have done better, knowing that it's in the past. It's even harder to look at current events and think about what we could be doing better now, yet noting that it isn't generally a good idea to be the know-it-all in a relationship. I hope I remember that when we're raising children, too, that just because I took a child development class doesn't mean I know everything.

That said, my husband came home and was on the phone, which sometimes distresses me and I was tempted to just keep doing what I was doing, even though I like to get a hug and a kiss when he comes home. I decided to just go over and hug him anyway and he just kept giving me a million quiet kisses, as if to let me know that he was aware I might be distressed but he really did love me. He's pretty great. And he doesn't even have to take the class. :-)

And I suppose that's the benefit of doing all this research: I see a lot of the bad and unfortunate things in relationships... and I realize how good we have it. Sure, marital satisfaction is usually pretty high the first few years (though it does tend to dip after childbirth), but I mean... indicators of unstable relationships start before marriage. We seem to be doing pretty good. And I am really, really happy.