Another update

One day, I aspire to add pictures. At this point, it isn't even lack of knowledge, just laziness. I haven't uploaded pictures for a while, so I don't have any recent ones of the cute baby.

You know, this whole mother thing has literally become my life. I don't always like it. (I LOVE being a mother - I just don't love that I let myself be consumed by it.) It's probably because she still doesn't have anything like a regular eating schedule... sometimes she eats every three hours, sometimes two, occasionally four, and even less than one hour if she didn't eat much before falling asleep or if she's fussing. So, with that, I don't get out much. I've still only had one "big" grocery shopping trip with her, and I didn't know where to put her, so I just shoved everything in the 'seat' section of the cart and the very front. Needless to say, I didn't end up getting all that much (oh I lied, I did use the bottom little rack for a few things, too). Yeah, I only leave the house if my husband needs something or if I've just fed her. Or doctor appointments.

I guess that's the only part I don't like. I let my fears about motherhood keep me cooped up inside. What if it's too cold to take her on a walk? I can't take her to busy places, which is just about everywhere that's warm, so I'll just keep her at home. What if she gets hungry and starts crying when I'm out? These fears aren't completely controlling me anymore, but they still have a firm grasp on me. More often than not, I just stay home. I also hold her a lot because of my mom fears. With acid reflux, she spits up a ton, so I don't want to put her down too soon after nursing. I let her uncertain sleeping schedule prevent me from taking naps (she might wake me up in five minutes to feed, anyway!).

I guess I'll get used to it eventually. She really is a joy. Sometimes I remember that better than other times... but she is so darn cute that it's hard to be too upset if I'm really looking at her and loving her. She's got these amazing chubby cheeks, a little pouty lip (not usually pouting, though), a cute smile, and this funny refusal to let her arms and legs be tucked in for very long. She loves her arms up by her face or head, and she makes the funniest little grunty noises. She doesn't fuss much, even when she's fussy.

Basically, the award for Best Baby EVER goes to Emily. :-)